A one minit play, 1990
DARK STAGE. Then a spotlight hits a papier-mache globe, spinning all by itself in the middle of darkness.
Little by little, the stage lights COME UP, and we see a bare-stage representation of a living room: an easy chair with a table beside it (there’s an open bottle of beer on the table), and a console TV across the room. There’s a picnic cooler-full of beer under the table. Also, a great many empties. GOD is feeling pretty good. At stage left, there’s a door.
GOD – a big guy with a white beard – is sitting in the chair, alternately reading a book (When Bad Things Happen to Good People) and watching the tube. He has to crane whenever he wants to look at the set, because the floating globe (actually hung on a length of string, I imagine) is in his line of vision. There’s a sitcom on TV. Every now and then GOD chuckles along with the laugh-track.
There is a knock at the door.
GOD (big amplified voice)
Come in! Verily, it is open unto you!
The door opens. In comes ST. PETER, dressed in a snazzy white robe. He’s also carrying a briefcase.
Peter! I thought you were on vacation!
Leaving in half an hour, but I thought I’d bring the papers for you to sign.
How are you, GOD?
Better. I should know better than to eat those chili peppers. They burn me at both ends. Are those the letters of
transmission from hell?
Yes, finally. Thank GOD. Excuse the pun.
He removes some papers from his briefcase. GOD scans them, then holds out his hand impatiently, ST PETER
has been looking at the floating globe. He looks back, sees GOD is waiting, and puts a pen in his out-stretched
hand. GOD scribbles his signature. As he does, ST. PETER goes back to gazing at the globe.
So Earth’s still there, Huh? After All these years.
GOD hands the papers back and looks up at it. His gaze is rather irritated.
Yes, the housekeeper is the most forgetful bitch in the universe.
An EXPLOSION OF LAUGHTER from the TV. GOD cranes to see. Too late.
Damm, was that Alan Alda?
It may have been, sir – I really couldn’t see.
He leans forward and crushes the floating globe to powder.
GOD (inmensely satisfied)
There. Been meaning to do that for a long time. Now I can see the TV..
ST. PETER looks sadly at the crushed remains of the earth.
Umm… I believe that was alan Alda’s world, GOD.
So? (Chuckles at the TV) Robin Williams! I LOVE Robin Williams!
I believe both Alda and Williams Were on it when you..umm…passed Judgement, sir.
Oh, I’ve got all the videotapes. No problem. Want a beer?
As ST. PETER takes one, the stage-lights begin to dim. A spotlight come up on the remains on the globe.
I actually sort of liked that one, GOD – Earth, I mean.
It wasn’t bad, but there’s more where that came from. Now – let’s Drink to your vacation!
They are just shadows in the dimness now, although it’s a little easier to see GOD, because there’s a faint
nimbus of light around his head. They clink bottles. A roar of laughter from the TV.
Look! It’s Richard Pryor! That guy kills me! I suppose he was…
Shit. (Pause) Maybe I better cut Down on my drinking. (Pause) Still… It WAS in the way.
Fade to black, except for the spotlight on the ruins of the floating globe.
My son got back, didn’t he?
Yessir, some time ago.
Good. Everything’s hunky-dory, then.
THE SPOTLIGHT GOES OUT.
(Author’s note: GOD’S VOICE should be as loud as possible.)
Stephen Edwin King was born in Portland, Maine in 1947, the second son of Donald and Nellie Ruth Pillsbury King. Parts of his childhood were spent in Fort Wayne, Indiana, where his father’s family was at the time, and in Stratford, Connecticut. When Stephen was eleven, his mother brought her children back to Durham, Maine, for good. After Stephen’s grandparents passed away, Mrs. King found work in the kitchens of Pineland, a nearby residential facility for the mentally challenged.
Stephen attended the grammar school in Durham and then Lisbon Falls High School, graduating in 1966. From his sophomore year at the University of Maine at Orono, he wrote a weekly column for the school newspaper, THE MAINE CAMPUS. He graduated from the University of Maine at Orono in 1970, with a B.A. in English and qualified to teach on the high school level. A draft board examination immediately post-graduation found him 4-F on grounds of high blood pressure, limited vision, flat feet, and punctured eardrums.
He and Tabitha Spruce married in January of 1971. He met Tabitha in the stacks of the Fogler Library at the University of Maine at Orono, where they both worked as students. As Stephen was unable to find placement as a teacher immediately, the Kings lived on his earnings as a laborer at an industrial laundry, and her student loan and savings, with an occasional boost from a short story sale to men’s magazines.
Stephen made his first professional short story sale (“The Glass Floor”) to Startling Mystery Stories in 1967. Throughout the early years of his marriage, he continued to sell stories to men’s magazines. Many of these were later gathered into the Night Shift collection or appeared in other anthologies.
He wrote under the pseudonim Richard Bachman and he is wildly known for his complex stories, gripping endings and a hint of supernatural (more in the Dark Tower series). Every book started becoming a best seller and we will name just a few of his over 70 sets of novels and fiction stories: Salem’s Lot, Needful things, Dreamcatcher and the Talisman. Most of his books have been transformed into movies due to his $1 rule. He sold his author rights for a movie to young students for only $1, making lesser known audio-visual students popular after their release. Pet Semetary and Riding the bullet were such movies.
For more info, visit Wikipedia: Stephen King Wiki Page.